can i go study in kamar-taj?

The semester is winding down again and I’ve only got like, two weeks left of my senior year here at CMU. I’ve got one more semester, so would that classify me as a fifth year student even if I’m only taking half of the year? I don’t know and my eye is twitching.

I’ve got two papers and two presentations and I wanna fucking push them out of the way because I don’t want to do them at all. I’ve gotta compare like, three documentaries and I’ve got five days to do it as of now along with the other paper/presentation where I’ve gotta write 2400 words on a damn hole in the sidewalk. Send help. Send me a ghost writer. Find me documentaries I actually wanna watch; I was thinking The Life and Times of Harvey Milk, Bridegroom, and then some really recent movie about LGBT rights here in the U.S. For some reason, in my papers, I wanna do a sort of chronological timeline kind of thing and this time, it’s more about the rights of our gay citizens here. BUT HOW AM I GONNA WRITE LIKE, EIGHT PAGES ABOUT A HOLE? Damn you, Weinstock; you’re gonna be the death of me. But I’m currently just sitting here watching Luke Cage on Netflix because I never finished it when it premiered, but I finished Iron Fist today and I’ve gotta finish them all before The Defenders (Jessica for life, y’all.). I’ve also seen Rogue One twice this month and Doctor Strange is great with that Disney Anywhere app.

On the note of the semester winding down, graduation is coming up for some people. My best friend since freshman year has been accepted to graduate school in Alabama, bless his heart; I’m so proud of him and he’ll probably know that for as long as we live. But then there’s this guy that I’ve come to know and he’s probably tired of me talking about him here, but I don’t really care? He’s graduating and I’m proud of him too for being probably the smartest and most awkward person I know and that’s one of the reasons I like him so much. But we haven’t done anything to advance whatever the fuck we’re doing and it sucks and we haven’t actually discussed where this is going, but I digress I guess; I just really wanna give him his Comic Con gift I bought.

That was cool too! I went to Comic Con in Indianapolis for the third year in a row! I met Charlie Fucking Cox and he was delightfully British and he loved my shirt. So, I have this fascination with Stardust and it’s probably one of the best romances I’ve seen and he’s in it as Tristan Thorn and my last name is that, but it has an ‘E’, so I had this shirt made that said “Team Thorn(e)” and he said it was the best things he’s seen. I got a photo of my family with my fourth favorite Batman, Val Kilmer. I bought like, seven more pieces of nerdtastic art and I’m ready to move into my own apartment.

I’m not ready to go back to work. I don’t want to mingle with customers and the general public; I’m kind of tired of it? But I need to save my money so I can try and move out of my family home when I graduate which kind of sucks, but like I told my mom today, I don’t really wanna drive from my house to Detroit (if I land a job in publishing there). But I also need a new iPad. Will someone buy one for me?

Deep Breathing


it looks kind of not good

so, if you didn’t pick up on it, i’m still going. have fun reading.

Imagine this: a college student in his last semester, sitting at a desk that’s actually organized and the books are neatly stacked on their ends and the notebooks are in a wire box, but the student isn’t doing homework for once in his life. No, he’s staring at the computer screen waiting for him to sign in online. He refreshed the video chat service until he thought he saw the green dot show up. That’s my life.

Another night of the week, another few hours that I waited to see him for just a few minutes. Long distance was killing me. I refreshed my friends list again, once and twice more and finally saw what I was looking for. Next to the screenname, WildeThing, an online notification had popped up and I clicked the call button before he went away again.

“Hey, glad to catch you!” I said with a laugh.

He smiled and checked his phone’s time. He looked flustered and exhausted.

“Unfortunately, I can’t stay too long. I’ve got an early morning meeting tomorrow with my advisor tomorrow. How was your day? How did the exam go?”

“It went fine, I guess. Thanks for your help last week. How were classes?”

“They were great. I learned so much more than I thought I could. It’s weird to actually learn things.”

I cocked my head and smiled again. “It’s nice to see you again. We need to this more.”

“I know, I know. Our schedules don’t match up very well anymore, but did they ever?”

“Yeah, but it was a hell of a lot easier when we went to the same school.”

He took a deep breath. “I know, but that’s what happens. That’s why we have video chatting and cell phones? If we hung up right now, I’d be texting you before we went to sleep. And you have a car! Come see me.”

“Last time I came to see you, you mostly did homework the entire time I was there.”

“I’m free this weekend. Completely free. I’ll even pay for gas.”

“Do you promise? You and I are gonna spend time together with no classwork between us?”

“I promise,” he checked his phone again, “I’ve gotta go to bed.”

“Okay. I’ll call or text you tomorrow?”

“Both. I love you.”

“Love you.”

The video screen went blank and I shut my computer down and climbed into bed. I held my phone in front of my face and typed a message to him, but there was no reply before I closed my eyes.

so, before you ask, i’ve already written the next like, piece to this and that’s where you’ll see when this is set up. and if you check the folders, you’ll know who the characters are.

the end. or is it? i dunno.

Alright, so I’ve finished the main part of this. So, it’s like, I’m not writing up to Ezra’s dreams.

Owen and I lost touch with Mason and Gavin when they decided to move out on their own. Owen and I consolidated our items and we moved from our bedroom to a two, even if we shared a room half of the time, but it ended up being more than that; the second room became on office for homework and ideas.

Owen took some time to understand my life, just like my parents had, but after a few weeks, he’d settled down like we were living the plot of Bewitched. He and I took trips without stepping in a car and I didn’t ever physically touch a single chore. Owen was fine with it. He came to terms with me and did the same with us.

WHERE DO I GO FROM HERE? thanks, pocahontas 2.

So, like, I’m still awake because I’m just watching my seventeenth episode of UNHhhh of the night; it’s so good and Trixie Mattel and I are on the same wavelength. Alright, but my life is spiraling out of control because the end of the semester is coming and oh my god, I don’t want it. With the end of this semester coming, I ONLY HAVE ONE MORE LEFT OF MY COLLEGE EDUCATION. I literally cannot handle what’s happening.

I applied for graduation today… yesterday… it’s not a new day until I wake up, so fuck you. So, my friend is like, “Did you think that you just did your classes and then graduate?” Honestly? Partially. I don’t know why I have to apply to graduate; that’s stupid. But the other half of the things, I just didn’t know the deadline was (looks at calendar and clock) technically in nine days. I’m not dumb, I’m just confused. Why stress me out with this? And then I’m like, let’s look at fuckin’ jobs after graduation! I could do community college for teaching BUT, I could also apply for publication jobs where I’m actively using my degree! The only major publication jobs in this dumb state are in Detroit and I am not sure at the moment on whether I want to do that…

I started my screenplay! I’m adapting the short story “By the Waters of Babylon” for my class, so that’s trip. I don’t wanna do it. But it’s an assignment. SPEAKING OF ASSIGNMENTS, I also have to write a paper of African American Cinema, a paper comparing documentaries, and a paper that is literally about a hole. Someone do these for me, please. Just give me that diploma now; I’d honestly rather graduate with this current class here right now instead of in December.

And then my club’s having Pride Prom this month? I wanna go, but I feel like if I ask, you might not say yes? Well, I mean, there’s a way I wanna ask, so be surprised. But I also don’t know your feelings on the matter anymore, so I’m gonna say that I inserted that emoji of the face that’s upside down and smiling. I’m fine. 😀 I still really haven’t been hugged.