It’s late and I’m tired, but I don’t have to be to work for nearly twelve hours. I decided to take a minute on my iPad to write out what has been asked of me a few times now and I want to thank everyone I work with for making my job a little more bearable each day I come in. Customers can’t get me down when I’m surrounded by all of you. Not naming names, literally, but I’ll use our wonderful code that came to be when I wanted to go by Cinnamon. And the list now goes on of all of our reformed strippers entering the work force.
Sprinkles: You’re so scary. Your (the game) sides are tender and your height (the game) doesn’t have a hold on the amount of evil you have pent up in your (the game) body. I love being able to come talk to you and Shortcake when I’ve got literally nothing to do in the entire store.
Shortcake: Keep it up. You’re funny and wonderful and I really like the way that we can have fun just by telling stupid jokes in the middle of the sales floor. The store doesn’t feel complete unless you and Sprinkles are in the same area.
Mississippi Mudslide/Licorice Whip: What’s going on? I mean, Mudslide will probably never see this, but let’s be besties ayyyyyy. And Whip? You’ve got some studying to do.
Boston Cream(Pie): We make a great team when I’m not poking your fragile arms with pens. And discussing your life outside of work. Nah, I’m just watching things for your like a rock. David Bowie would have probably loved to have met you, but you know… We’re in Michigan and he’s dead.
Mahogany: You get excited about things and then I get excited about things and then there’s a fire and then we might have a problem. I don’t know if you remember, but we have actually done a few things outside of this job. I watched you get pelted in the face with a pretty massive water balloon once and you’ve got great aim with a bow. I love working with you thought because instead of me standing idly by, there’s more talking.
Afternoon Delight/Candy: The two of you are great, both in separate entities and together. Afternoon D, we have a great team dynamic except for when you’re slapping me and throwing lint rollers. Candy, you’re just so bubbly and sassy and just fun to be around.
Chardonnay: Congratulations on all the baby stuff. You’re basically our version of the guy at Walmart and I’m very happy with that. I’d rather have you do my scanning and baggin over him any day.
Chow Mein: It’s fun getting you to laugh. I can’t even remember what I showed you today that made you happy, but I remember that you smiled very big. You’re great to work with even if you’re behind a desk and I’m stuck at a register.
Blondie: You’re probably the definition of a work bestie to me and a few other people. We’re like a dynamic duo even if some people (lookin’ at you, Mudslide) can’t find ways to have fun at work. We make the fun by making fun. Movie quotes, dead baby jokes, French Tickler advertisements, and an Office-style show about strippers entering retail life always get me through my day. Blondie and Cinnamon are on the case.
This is the best group of people I’ve worked with in my time with this store and even if you don’t have a name, I’m not skipping you. You’re all appreciated by me. You’re keeping me sane when someone doesn’t read a sales tag correctly.
*gif will follow. I’m tired.